By Alejandro N. Marrero 12/21
I’ve become that shaky stable.
Where the world sees me poised.
Creating that picturesque fable.
The story of a Kane that fell in love with Abel.
There’s nothing you can’t hide by being quiet.
Or a clever ab promising diet.
Cheers to Adam and Steve!
With the ground painted white on Christmas Eve.
Changing the narrative.
Giving ammunition to my motives.
It’s a threat none can observe.
Or any deserve.
It snakes into your dreams.
Holds you under water till you break the scenes.
Still there’s turmoil in my mind.
Coiled and ready to strike at half passed nine.
My body shivering when I’ve closed the blinds.
Turning off the light so you can’t see this earthquake.
Or the damage it does to those nailed to the stake.
It’s for peace for heaven sakes.
Why else do we hide what shakes?
I do not consent.
Nor will they notices my being absent.
Look under your chairs everyone!
There’s sugar cubes.
For you and you and you!
No one sees my mental breakdown.
Know that no one witnesses my body touch the tired ground.
No not this round.
The house pristine and polished well.
Though with the right decor it’s hard to tell.
Distract, distract I’m on the right track.
Let them be blind to panic’s attack.
I’ve become a source for good.
Coloring all inside the lines with tact.
Yet when it hits I’m not fool.
I’ve just hidden it where I stood.
With company composure gets exhausting.
Yet I’ll stifle yawns to play okay.
It’s not feigning tiredness its taxing keeping it at bay.
It will pass of this I’m sure.
Logic always sound.
It always does I say.
Nothing to see here folks.
Makes everyone’s price for truth.
My head a maelstrom of divisions.
A track that’s skipping on the replay.
I’ve become that shaken stable.
Oh don’t worry I’ve made the tables.
Presenting everything so nicely.
Distractions better than reactions.
I’ve colored myself so pure.
If only rainbows weren’t so wet.
My hair would probably endure.
Life is so pretty on the outside.
Where we talk, speak and color inside the lines.
I wonder when we forgot to See that silence holds the lies.
I’ve become that shaky stable.
That riddle between the lines.
Where you view composure.
It’s simply toggled exposure.
The mirror spider webbed with lines.
The lines we give each other to pretend we’re all going to be just fine.
Yet I’ve become a fan of darkness.
It’s quiet had always been kind.
The unknown has potential even running to it blind.
It isn’t necessarily a blanket.
It’s cold outside anyways.
Though it’s easier to hide.
I’m just comfortable in the silence.
There’s no mistakes, shakes or lies.
The truth is always harder.
So riddled with concepts and cries.
No witnesses as I let the loud out till it finally dies.
Yet story’s love a twist.
I’ve yet to see them bend.
So I travel alone even when I’m in the crowds.
The loudest thing my hair.
Though hardly said out loud.
I’m not a fashionista.
Yet I try to paint myself unbroken.
We both know it’s untrue.
Yet we’re tired of hiding the pieces.
There was never enough glue.
So I’m back to my devouring present.
Where my minds a storm and raging.
Yet my body shows no signs.
I wrap myself in stillness.
So no one sees the cries.
When they leave I finally breathe again.
Shake and come undone.
Tear tracks well hidden on the edges of my eyes.
For there’s cracks all in my stables.
Now my body can let it show.
There’s no one around to see it.
As I Let it all go and grow.
The tides coming strong now.
I’m a cliff, a crested wave and storm.
But a mountain in their blindness.
The clouds and scene untrue.
How else could anyone be around me.
With a fragile mind and broken inside.
So I’ve mastered the art of silence.
Stillness is perfection.
I’ll hide between the lines.
I’m that shaky kind of stable.
A tuning fork struck loud and true.
Anything is better than what my body wants to do