Withdrawing like a recluse

Barely slept and I’m still up and to make matters epic. My anxiety got so high I had to take my medicine then of course I got hungry and ate a hot dog that gave me a you’re going to the bathroom for an hour and change with Pepto as your best friend. Did I mention a headache as icing ?

Why does this happen to me I have no idea. Maybe I do but I don’t want to open up a search query in my head and come up with a bajillion reasons I’m having one of those hard days. We all have our ups and downs today happens to be a slow descent down.

I’m not depressed, agitated maybe? Withdrawn absolutely. I’ve basically ignored my phone, and social media as much as possible today. Basically bed bound myself. Today I didn’t meditate and that would of probably helped if I didn’t end up binge watching The Witcher and going past that safe time I always meditate and nap.

Now it’s too late for a nap so I’m begging the either for my tummy to stop being in pain and my self to calm down from this never predictable but hot flashing adrenaline from having anxiety for no reason. Always hits me when I’m doing absolutely nothing stressful too. Makes no sense. Home alone no company basically clicked the moon on my iPhone and made a do not disturb day. Call it a mental health day. It’s definitely the truth.

I’ll light some Tibetan healing incense in a bit and then read a book and hopefully a guided sleep meditation will do the trick. Ah growing out my hair is making me look like a blonde Latino Einstein. Looks crazy. Just like me I guess even if I don’t wear it on display a lot.

Anyhow I’ve got my chamomile tea, and I’m starting to settle down. Why is my leg always restless? I feel like I put a quarter into a vibrating bed but it’s just my leg.

Alright going to read a bit maybe something fluffy happy ending stuff take some medicines and light my incense do some mindful breathing and hopefully get some sleep tonight.

Weird how I need people detox so much.

Blah blah blah I’ll get through this.

Goodnight and Sweet Dreams Maybe.

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