I’d had enough of sitting up in my bed while my husband slept, clearly he wasn’t going to be getting up so I let the dog out, fed the fish, took care of turning on the green house and aquarium lighting. Posted my VLOG without even watching it. I find myself doing this more and more because I don’t want to be scripted even if it puts my craziness out in full display of the world. Then at 8 he wakes up goes down stairs gives me a kiss and tells me he loves me and I do the same because it’s true. I asked if he had fun with his friends last night and when he got home he said “yes a lot of fun and got home a bit past twelve” in my lack of sleep I was like well “I guess I woke up two hours after you got to sleep and finally got sick of watching you sleep so did house things.” He said he was sorry and there’s nothing for him to be sorry about I know it’s because I don’t sleep that he says it. He knows I’m suffering and it’s nothing he can cure and he’d give me his sleeping powers if he could. He totally would that’s just how amazing he is. Still I was snarky because it sucks being awake and having insomnia after nightmares and just writing, reading and waiting for hours for your partner to wake up so you can make noise. Well I got up stairs and bed was made. Thank goodness for small gifts that mean the world to me. Now he’s in his office the scent of delicious coffee I can’t have is in the air yeah I’m craving it but I’ve just not reacted well to it lately and we’re out of milk and I’m a Latte person but it’s okay we’ve had opportunity to buy milk I’ve just not been into it. Anyways I’m going to read and then hopefully get on the floor and nap. I’d really like that. If anything at least I’ll try a laying down guided sleep meditation and feel zen if I don’t get my zzzs. That’s me always looking for Zen and Zzzs. My snark and bitchiness be gone.

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