Out of nowhere I got a panic attack that came roaring to life around 3 O’clock in afternoon. Was in a terrible head and body space. So took medicine, did floor meditation and passed out for near three hours.
I’ll go into details later. I’m just glad I was able to use a laying down mindfulness meditation and then crash afterwards. Like I explained yesterday if the body doesn’t get what it needs eventually it will take it by force. In this case it needed sleep.
My thoughts became overwhelming and dark, distracted, listless, I was a live wire, felt like lightning, covered in knots in my neck, shoulders and back. I started having thoughts that were frightening and grinding my teeth. My mind traveled to scenario after scenario of utter fiction, frightening, overwhelming.
Felt like the world was shattering into pieces. Wanted no one to see. No digital device. Took anxiety medicine, guided sleep meditation on the echo and yeah now awake.
My neck and back hurt from the spasms and dark and lingering memories of my ‘moment’ but seems the worst has passed and I’ve come back now.
Safe and found and with sleep. I wish PTSD didn’t consume me so much when it hits. Thank goodness I was rational enough to take medication and ground myself into slumber full hours later I’m just waking up with aftershocks and muscle cramps. All is going to be okay. All will be okay.