It’s Friday night. TGIF to those that love this evening. I’m a writer so it’s kind of more distractions and less quiet for me on the weekend. More peopleling. That’s not a word but I’ll pretend everyone knows what I mean.

So my husband hit the Ski Resort for a Family Reunion. I was supposed to go but a las was in no condition to go. I missed him of course but I also slept well and he left yesterday and was back today so it was just a night.

I haven’t been able to test my hypothesis about sleeping better alone but it doesn’t matter I’m not a science experiment and I’m not alone and love knowing my husbands at my side when slumber or lack of it hits.

I just can’t fall asleep with any distractions. So naturally I end up doing my ‘getting ready for sleep’ ritual and hop in bed by 7:30-8:30 in hopes I can fall asleep by ten and get some Zzzs before I’m woken up and then stuck awake waiting for the quiet of solitude again.

So yeah Friday’s, Saturday’s they suck to me. Firstly I don’t get much writing done and everyone wants to hangout pretty much at the 7-10 mark which doesn’t change my wake up time at all. So usually weekends I don’t sleep.

Now lately I’ve been withdrawing from the tribe. Still part of them cause they’re friends through and through but I need to self care. I need my quiet time. I think fives great more is too much. I also think two is too many for long bouts of time but whatever it’s okay.

So Monday I’ve got a lot of things to do. I’ve got doctors, therapists, dentist, psychiatrist, psychologist appointments to make and then hopefully that week go too. Problem is I can’t go anywhere without sleep. My ability to leave the house is tied to sleep, anxiety and all the panic attacks I may have at any given time. So it means lots of cancelations and rescheduling and if it’s not same day appointments when I feel I’ve slept enough or can cope with people for 60 minutes or less I bail.

What can i say? I rather be a wreck in private or rest in solitude than be a suffering mess in company.

Anyways the good news was I got sleep last night and wrote my happy heart away. Even if I was bitchy when my alone time was cut short. But whatever one day I’ll build a cubby hole or reading nook and find a way to tune out the world whenever I want.

Well I’ve got to read something I’ve not written so my brain doesn’t melt since I’ve been writing so much so Goodnight and Sweet Dreams. It’s ebook reading time then hopefully zen and zzzs.

2 thoughts on “Going against the grain

  1. This is a good write up. Sleep is one of those mysterious monsters that you don’t want to allude you. I also have a ritual to check things about an hour prior to going to bed.
    I have to have fan going on or my hypervigelence takes over at night. The noise helps to stifle things.
    One thing that I have done that works pretty good. When I am really tired I sleep in the guest room. My mind hasn’t associated it with bad dreams, so I don’t do it often. Thanks for your sharing. Have a good day.

    Liked by 1 person

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