So I withdraw. It’s sort of what I do whenever I’m having a challenging day, week or month. Then I suddenly have sleep a sip of wine because why not and I realize I’ve alienated so many of my friends I want them around somehow without leaving my neighborhood. Then I hangout with them have a fabulous time but it screws up my schedule and daily routine and when the laughter ends, the friends leave and i look at that clock I’m luck FML this is the time I usually wake up. What did I do? Was it worth it? Peopleing that is. The thing with people is that around the kind, good and wholesome ones time flies and you have fun. The problem is the fun ends your energy wanes people leave and you’re left running on fumes. So is loneliness heavy or is it familiar enough to be peaceful. I sometimes wish we lived in a remote area off grid. Smashed all the clocks and judged our days by sun and night. But no instead we’re addicts. Addicted to people, recognition, socialization, tribes, social media, online spending, selfies and deluded perceptions of other people’s influences and projections of their realities. I wish I was in an off grid bunker style home inside a climate controlled green house. I’d talk to plants. Type whatever I have on my mind for an audience that may or may not listen and be satisfied with the silent stars and comments. But we’re sense junkies. We want to hear nice things say niceties, taste, feel and think pleasantries. I’d rather be addicted to healthy silence then afflicted by digital and physical addictions.
Yes loneliness can get heavy but once it isn’t there you appreciate it better.