Alright so clearly last night I went to sleep late. We had friends over and when then left I took my sedative chamomile tea from Trader Joe’s with honey, my melatonin, small dose or mirtazapine, and alprazolam. Then by the time I got ready for bed my husband was passed out and snoring loudly and moving around all over the bed. I figured alright well let me read in our bed a bit and see how that goes. After 15 minutes I wanted to yell and throw a fit. The snoring was driving me to straight up anger. So I grabbed warm linens went downstairs laid on my couch and used a deep sleep hypnosis album I found on YouTube that was at about a length of 45 minutes to an hour. I really thought to myself that I would maybe meditate and possibly nap but low and behold I slept all the way till 9:30 which being I fell asleep late was around 6 hours. Not enough and you can see I woke up and tossed and turned but barely as I pretty much slept the whole way through. Now I was tired but I have been writing my days away into oblivion working on my novel. It’s a paranormal fantasy novel. Fun full length book I plan on publishing. Pretty much spent the whole day writing. I did of course do things I needed to do like eat, turn on green house lights, work on aquarium etc. yet after hours of writing I didn’t want to write anymore and my husband pretty much had committed to laying down in basement watching streaming apps or basically tv and napping most of the day then playing video games in between. Well I don’t really watch tv I’m a reader. It’s what I do. Even the sound of television is annoying. The only time I want to watch something is usually a topic specific thing on YouTube while I eat and can’t be reading or writing or gardening etc. So I figured alright well it’s been a quiet day. Let me take another sleep hypnosis guided meditation and take a nap on the floor of my bedroom. So i did just that. Except I slept for three hours and eighteen minutes. Now that brings me to sleeping 9:45 minutes in one day. So what happens now? Well I’m wide awake because well I’ve been sleeping basically sleep write then sleep. Work and sleep no leisure. Of course people can be like oh well writing isn’t a job and I’m like lol is watching Netflix a job? No typing for 40-60 hours a week is most definitely a job. Not to mention it’s not all I do. There’s a bunch of responsibilities thrown your way when you have a work as you go job like being a writer. To the world you’re just glued to a digital screen typing away to infinity. Not being productive but that isn’t the case. Anyways I’m not here to validate being a writer. I enjoy it. It’s therapeutic and definitely a job. What I can tell you is that guided sleep hypnosis meditations have been helping me sleep or nap. Also having absolutely no interruptions or noise and quiet af solitary environment helps. So did I sabotage my sleep by catching up on zzzs between writing with my naps? Well I guess we will find out tomorrow. For now I hope not. It being the weekend means nothing to me. I write everyday. A weekend is cute it means people are off and can do their leisurely things and pretty much use the lazy card for anything they want and hey most people have stressful jobs and need the rest and relaxation it’s deserved. Plus hanging with friends is cool. Now me I like to people in doses. I want them around because I cherish my friends but not all the time because I’m busy or my brain and body is sleep deprived tired or I’m generally busy or being an introvert or don’t want to entertain and keep writing compulsively etc. So hangout enough to keep the friendship going but then after a long hangout session I’m wiped mentally. I’m like alright bye bye bye and I wish I lived in a cave and start looking for cheap properties in super remote towns in the mountains where I can live off grid in a tiny cabin on lots of land and just have a solar powered golf cart to get around. Pure quiet bliss. Yeah hermit life isn’t a threat to me it’s kind of like awesome. But alas that’s not my karma so blah I busy myself with writing coop myself up on my desk, sofa, room and just write my brains away. Well after a while you can write more (clearly) but you’re done. You’ve been writing your novel for hours literal hours of no eating just writing your literature fantasy universe and you need a break and have to read something or do something that isn’t work. So that’s when I attempt a nap. Well that wasn’t a nap a nap I consider 30 minutes to an hour not 3 hours holy wow. So we shall see if after my tea and stuff I indeed fall asleep tonight. Or if my nap sabotaged it.
I’m going to water my plants in green house and make some tea then look for a book to read.
Wishing everyone Zen and Zzzs.