By Alejandro N. Marrero 1/10/2020
There’s a loudness in the silence I can’t ignore. It keeps me awake while being adored.
The setting so comfortable I don’t want to move.
In the end though it’s something I do for you.
The tea and the pills they mess with my head.
All of it done to be blessed with peace in our bed.
Yet all is for not for its too loud outside.
The quiet is never ending for I’ve let it inside.
Trying to keep still while you roll around behind.
I sit up in bed because there’s no sleep to find.
Any disturbance agitates this troubled mind.
A record playing in peppering rewinds.
Inside the quiet there’s whispers of dread.
Visions keep swirling inside the same head.
Now the loudness in the silence I can’t possibly ignore.
Because it’s inside me and ready to roar.
I’ve done all I can with a mind aimed for light.
However nothing is fair when it comes to this fight.
I gather my linens and tip toe my way free.
This way no one notices I’ve lost to the unseen.
When I withdraw from the room with the noise.
It follows me down to a couch I don’t enjoy.
How the screams follow me is simple you know.
It’s because I keep them all in so nothing dare shows.
My body tremors and knots form so tight.
I’ve already tired and surrendered the fight.
So with the tea and pills that mess with my head.
I silent the whispers that fill me with dread.
There’s a loudness in silence few can observe.
Yet it’s present and real and never deserved.
Inside the quiet there’s echoes from bed.
Visions swirling faster inside this very head.
Now the loudness in silence I can’t possibly ignore.
It’s to alive inside me and woken with roars.