Fading Memories by Alejandro N. Marrero 2/8/2020

I should be resting
Instead I’m laying in my bed
Boundless thoughts inside this very head
Building dams to stop the floods
But I’ve never been strong enough
Once or twice but wow is it tough
It doesn’t make sense but enough is enough

I should relax
Everything went well why do I overthink it?
Thoughts about where I stood or even sat
Or even if anyone noticed my winter fat
I may not be young anymore
It shakes me down when I explore
Endlessly reaching for distant shores
Wondering who’s next to knock on our doors

I should repent
Guilt like shackles and barbed wired fences
The cage I keep my demons and their consequences
Doesn’t matter if I dream it up or not
It haunts me, shoulders filled with knots
I may very well of made it worse
Even if I’m filled with truth’s remorse

I should be resting
Especially after such a taxing evening
Yet it was fun before my brain forgot
The Who’s, the where’s, and what nots.
For my mind can’t recollect the final hours of the previous day
No matter how many pictures I see of that evening today

I should remember
Yet maybe I shouldn’t
Did I say that?
No it’s impossible, I wouldn’t.
After all we’re laughing and smiling in the photos
Had to be good since I am enjoying the solos
They keep coming back
Even after I withdraw during these mental flashbacks

My heads in a hazy fog
It doesn’t matter to my dog
She smiles and wags her tail for me
She thinks I’m her world, her everything.
It only matters we’re all loved
Even if we forget there’s others involved
I’m only human I remind myself this day
That’s okay I won’t remember soon anyways

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