Challenging Days by Alejandro N. Marrero 2/24/2020

I’ve had a fantastically challenging day
So much and yet so little has happened today
There’s no one to blame for anything that’s wrong
Some days I’m weak and just not as strong
The silence is a haven yet not always the best
But the lack of sound is pivotal to my mental success and yes please don’t stress.

I’ve had an up then a down kind of day
It started good then quickly that faded away
There’s so much that could be causing it whirling in my mind
All I want to do is stop shaking being restless and unwind
I’m already quasi comfortable in our bed
I just can’t stop the swirls inside my head

I’ve had a productive streak with last nights sleep
But it hasn’t helped me or put me at ease
The anxiety comes with sniffles and sighs
I wish it wasn’t there that’s the truth in our lives
My maelstrom of thoughts won’t let me sit still
The day is gone so it’s time for the pills
Oh how I hope that the sandman visits me
I’d love sweat dreams and pleasant memories

The day started with me on a high
Even left my home trying my best not to hide
I do things impulsively and pay for them later
But I can’t help this awkward and perpetually disabling nature
I wear smiles that rarely touch my eyes
More of a grinner it’s better than lies
So when I’m riding down from a monstrous peak
I hope people understand company isn’t what I seek

I had a challenging day
Nothing particularly bad happened to make me feel this way
But even if I pretend or even know all is well
I find myself sweating in my own mental hells
So leave me alone but don’t go far
I just want to see you at my best with less noticeable scars
For many things can possibly be what’s wrong
I’m okay not knowing sometimes ignorance is best all along.

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