Youthful Absence by Alejandro N. Marrero 4/20/2020

I wish my body was sculpted to my liking
Toned, refined and even muscled like a Viking.
Skin clear of acne, smooth and soft in front and behind
To look upon a mirror and shift the time into a decade of rewind
Make better and healthier decisions with wisdom this time

I wish we stopped aging at thirty-one
Old enough to be a settled adult but young enough to have more fun
Where any sport would be fine with boundless youthful stamina
Wearing clothes that were hip, casual and perfect for the camera
Instead it feels I look older than my soul and mind
The aging happened, the past has caught me quickly and now I’m blind

I wish my body wasn’t mine and I could tweak it to perfection
Make it look like I’ve slept and I was handsome enough for my own affections
Alas though I’m neither over or underweight
I look at the mirror and find countless things I want to change or hate
Don’t get me wrong my mind is strong and I could just workout
It’s just having that drive, making it that lifestyle that makes me cop an out

I’ve got things better than the externally beautiful of this I’m sure
My character is kind, true and filled with kindness so alas I endure
Still I can’t help but pine for the body of my yester-years
The ones where I had a washboard stomach big arms and trivial fears
Now I’m almost forty and to me I look my age.
It shouldn’t bother me but it does and my looks don’t pay a wage

I’m a guy with average looks, body and a brilliant mind
Nothing extraordinary except for the powers of penmanship and being kind
We glance at photos of models or even former versions of our youthful selves
Wondering where the time went and not having the time to empty cluttered shelves.

One day I’ll feel beautiful again within myself and without
One day I’ll put the pen down, eat better and then workout
Till that day my Exercise is typing and something like edible gardening
It’s not glamorous like models or famous people all around
But it’s the only thing I can do to keep away the mirrors horrible esteem breaking frowns

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