Endless See by Alejandro N. Marrero 4/30/2020

I don’t like to feel or be punished for hesitating to express myself or choose apathy
The truth is I’m somewhere between being wickedly depressed and deliriously happy
Solitude a balm that cures every purpled bruise and stinging paper cut
Everything disappears no matter who you are or even what

I’m not just lip service to an agenda you imagined in your inflated and spacious head
I’m just everything ever felt, spoken or talked about behind closed doors instead
You only care when you’ve realized you lost the final winning hand
I’m not a bandaid there’s no way to fix me no matter how we far off course we land

I’m empty of wants for penance but I’ve got enough guilt to start a new faith or religion
It matters not if you care now or back then when I needed the simple motions of the oceans
You’re fake, silk that’s soft but never a real or true epic flower
You beg for freedom, understanding and apologies but really you pine to steal my power

I’m not like you my emotions run deep though I hide them in an even deeper well
Doesn’t matter how much you wish to mold them to your satisfaction this is my first and designed farewell
I’m putting on the big pants the ones that show I’m now the top of the food chain boss
Sorry not sorry but everything you took I gave without a cost or feeling of loss

Now leave me be in the safety of my silencing yet deafening quiet
Things will be fine the further I’m away from all of your predictably bad habits
You think that spray of Windex wipes the surface clear enough to see right through me?
That’s always been the problem you never respected the real the wet the true inside my endless seas

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