Escapism. Is that even a word? It might be since autocorrect didn’t suggest anything differently and there was no tell tale red line underneath. Now what is the point I’m trying to make by starting with that particular word?

I’ve been going back and forth in my mind thinking of ways to better myself mentally and physically. How to be of benefit to myself and others. How to cultivate a lasting peace in my heart and mind. How have I been doing this? Through following guided meditations. Through trying to read about Eastern Philosophy and Psychological trainings of the mind. From books, pictures, video teachings etc.

From what I have gathered life’s day to day happenings cause suffering. Now hear me out. It’s not to say that everything I’m experiencing is suffering. There are numerous moments of joy, love, compassion, kindness and leisure. The thing is that it’s not always those positive things that are perpetually experienced. In fact the same days we have positive experiences we have as many disagreeable ones. All of which is because our mental state is always in a state of wanting. Wanting delicious foods, a beautiful body, a nice home, clean dishes, laundry folded, to hear praises, to have refreshing beverages, music, scents etc.

We’re all very equal in wanting joy and not pain. Yet if we get what we want it doesn’t stop there. You want something else soon enough and usually it’s immediate. A moment ago you wanted a sandwich, then afterwards you want a slice of desert. Then you want to have a cool beverage then brush your teeth. Then without fail you will go back to being hungry again and won’t want for the same thing but something else? I don’t know many people who will eat the same thing nonstop though it is a very probable possibility.

Even now you’re wanting something. You’re mind may even wander. Fabricating some daydream where you’re doing this or that. Or making lists in your head about what you should or shouldn’t be doing. Weighing pros and cons. For the most part we’re unable to be content, aware or just abide in the present moment. The mind is always in a state of wanting. Remember that. Conquer that.

Now back to Escapism. Everyone wants to get away from it all. It’s probably a usual thing with most of us. Wether it’s a vacation, the end of your work shift, the party to end, to finally get in bed, be alone or go trailing across the country. We find sometimes that the easiest ways of being able to achieve a peace is to leave what doesn’t give us perfect peace. Escape, run or walk away from anything that challenges our peace. Yet no matter where you go your mind follows you. If your mind isn’t able to handle without a negative or positive reaction anything it Presently is experiencing it matters not where you are. You’re trapped and it’s by your own mind.

Now here’s the pickle. We’ve got a pandemic on our hands and we’re just all tired of it. Some more than others. We’re longing to resume our lives even if it means keeping a bit of distance from each other. We want an end to the fear. To see the invisible enemy and avoid it. We can’t though. At least most of us. We cannot escape our situations without confronting them and even when confronted you don’t always get that peaceful bliss everyone deserves.

When I write about wanting to escape I really mean that I’d prefer being firmly rooted on stable ground. I’d like to escape into the present moment. A mind and body that is at ease and content. A silence that isn’t uncomfortable. A stable pleasant state of mind that like bamboo bends to follow the wind but doesn’t break. I want to escape suffering. I want the peaks and valleys of mental or physical sufferings to plateau into even ground. I want the noise in my head to flee for good or be transformed into a steady endless peaceful abiding song.

The mind is always in a state of wanting. Think of how many times this unrehearsed, unedited blog post has the words “I” “my” or “Want.” Think about how the ego is laced in possibly every line.

I want to escape suffering and change. Above all I’d prefer to be free from wanting in general and be content. The tug of war in my mind says it will be easier if I leave or escape the distractions behind and go to a place more peaceful. Outside of a monastery I’m not sure that exists. Even a monk or nun still has plenty of mental trials to go through before their mind is released of mental afflictions like “wants” and is trained to be always at ease. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Peace won’t be either. But I’d like to think instead of trying so hard to escape suffering we’d all find a way to be where we are and not suffer. Still i want the easy button.

Not sure there’s any sagely wisdom in this rant. Just a dear diary moment of thoughts in my head. If anything all i did was escape anything I should be doing to the keyboard!

The riddles of an unenlightened mind.

Be at ease. It’s a wish for all of us.


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