Vengeful Dreams by Alejandro N. Marrero 5/21/2020

These nightmares are long, vivid, relentless and I fear never going away
They quicken my heart, spark the adrenaline, fright or flight snapping my eyes open before it’s even day
I do what feels right, breathe slowly in and out to calm the constantly emerging sleeping anxieties
Nothing seems to help though, sleep is a gamble enough as it is and when the eyelids close at last they still conjure up those vivid tragedies

I’m not one to talk in person or real life much about my darkness or even deep or profound feelings
It may be a defense mechanism, my default setting or how I keep hidden all the times my mind has dark and wandering meanings
The hour glass of life won’t move it’s welded to a rock pillar and it represents our time left as the grains fall down through the pinched middle
One day those shards of sand from the top will run their course and our lives will end this is true no need for a riddle
I just wish somehow my dreams or habits were enough to keep be balanced somewhere in the center and not keep me so damn brittle

Nightmares they take over all of my dreams and leave me gasping to ridiculously early wakefulness
I rub the allergy itches from my eyes as I wait for my heart to stop it’s racing terrorized dream fueled restlessness
It’s not fair when I’m doing everything correct each evening , like routines of chamomile tea, light reading and even a night light
Yet it matters not for every time I try to sleep it’s a gamble and if I do sleep I’m still roused from a nightmarish fright

I hope today has rest in the plans and give me a way to catch up sleep debt, being at ease or at least more theta wave hours
But none of this will work unless the sleep is filled with peace instead of fright for really that’s what truly now matters.

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