Locked Aways by Alejandro N. Marrero 5/25/2020

People always assume they know every dynamic part of our lives and are rarely right
They just nod their head when you correct them or have to explain your own battles, failures or fright.
I’m not like everyone else in more ways than none
I’m just incredibly good at hiding when my feelings overwhelm me and I’m feeling completely over done

I wish so much to be free and normal like everyone is supposed to be
Strong, fit, hardworking, generously employed and above all mentally healthy
That’s not the case though and I hide in my room where I rarely let it show
I’m damaged goods and under stress the dangers build and then bang my mind explodes

There’s a tyrannical and fanatical danger to how I live my life
I don’t have any tolerance for change, stress or people’s endless strifes
I’m shaking, restless, reaching for things I cannot hold, keep or ever find
The thing is as long as I’m being still or honest they’ll assume I’ve not yet lost my mind

People assume the worst or best in everyone or circumstance
The thing is we don’t all fit in the same box not all of us had the best of chances
I’d like to really be as healthy, happy and mentally stable as all of you
Yet my sanity comes in waves that go up and down like tides pulled by the moon

I wish I could be clearer and admit the faults in my scars without dying from reminiscing
There’s a danger in people thinking your worthless or not be worthy of simply listening
I’m broken but functional in a way I’m just not good with people all the time
I can do it in spurts but usually one day is more than enough to require days to unwind
Still I look up to people, faith and happy thoughts when Pinterest throws them my way
I just figure one day I’ll be better after all I wasn’t born this wrecked up way.

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