Runaway Cars by Alejandro N. Marrero 7/12/2020

Drive my heart away from here, a place I feel I don’t deserve or worse no how to steer
Life’s not a perfect gift wrapped in rainbow strings but I do admit I love my peoples and some shiny rock hound things
I wake up with headaches some deserved or sometimes not
They remind me temporarily that it’s better to lay down, read, watch tv or put the mind impossibly into a full stop
Still somewhere over the great horizon my mind soars when I’ve caught up sleep
Makes my mind conjure crazy nightmares or scenarios where without people I wouldn’t dare be hurt or weep
Did you know I’m slightly, kind of, probably not popular?
Did you know I hate it no matter what as I’m a nothing, a fabled wisdom just an above average intelligent commoner?
As I start to feel better I may or may not get out of our bed.
The same one that gives me restlessness, refuge, nightmares, dreams and thoughts of leaving persistently inside my head.
Daily I look around and look for any and every excuse
All the whilst making an effort despite my hidden crazy to be of domestic use
Still I’m haunted by my own thoughts of leaving and travel
Maybe I’ve got the itch like everyone and the virus fatigue makes my mind want to peel off fast in the gravel
Certainly this may be so for all of us or at least the ones who might be over being still, rejected or newly affected
Then if it’s normal why to I keep thinking of leaving sanctuaries so beautifully protected?
I’m not the best version of myself when inebriated people are around
I analyze our actions, what’s been said and fear the dizzying ground
When I was younger, homeless as a teen and was always looking for shelter in days in between
I felt more resilient even if nothing was ever as it ever damn seemed
Now decades into adulthood and I’ve made it barely so damn far
Yet, in my heart of hearts I still think about getting in that road tripping car
To sell everything we have and buy something new, paid off one hundred percent
To grow food, have renewable energy and less people around possibly be content
Just the sun, skies and mountains in the distance of a state where I can see much more stars
Where no one knew us and we could just pack up and chase our future away from people in our humble cars.
In whatever place years from now we end up at peace
I hope that the dreams of runaway cars will set me at ease.

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