Drowning by Alejandro N. Marrero 11/10/2020

At the end of a dream before the eyes open the mind is expansive and deep like the oceans
When the sun sets after painting the skies in reds shadows disappear and flee to find rest
My head is a storm a tempest of rain it falls all around me it drowns me in wet pain
There’s barely a breath in me as I sink to the pressuring and darkening depths
There’s only an aching in my lungs till I lose all my heart beating breaths
I’ve been walking on bare feet through the mud of my mind trying to find the best way flush it all out
My past has left tracks all muddied then dried to harden at last and I dare not look back or even confusingly shout
Lost, confused, broken and abused these words haunt me more than I care to admit
I wish I was pristine, happy always and had good self esteem maybe then we’d not be so wet
Still, I’m an endless sea of memories and not all of them are kind pleasantries
I do everything I can.
Truly I try hard and manage my plans but it seeks the waters that run endlessly deep
In the blink of an eye I let go with a sigh and decide maybe it’s time for some sleep
I follow the motions the retreats to the oceans but it’s hard for that last thought to go
When I finally sleep it’s not peaceful or deep it’s simply because my exhaustion took it slicing fatal comforting reap
At the end of a dream before the eyes open the mind is expansive and deep like the oceans
When the sun sets after painting the skies in reds shadows disappear and flee to rest but still my heart remains broken
My head is a storm a tempest of rain it falls all around me till it drowns me in pain
There’s barely a breath in me as I sink to the depths deeper and deeper I go for I’ve gone with the flow and an exhaling is the last line to live
Hands reach down they don’t want me to drown but I continue to sink into blankets of water’s sweet silence
Even the oceans roars have quieted by now and my vision is speckled in stars of darkness
It hurts for a while not to breath or smile still in the end it’s finally over and at last my thoughts go blissfully quiet

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