Sketch by Kristina Laurendi Havens

Chaotic Neutral by Alejandro N. Marrero

Today was neutral it’s that bliss that’s in between thoughts
The day that has happiness in the same amounts as being distraught
Still, I’m in the sacred and blessed middle
That place where I can choose to say good, fine, okay or maybe like a riddle
We express these word plays and mind games like a tune on a fiddle
All for the bliss of being neutral and in the blessed holiness of the middle
I don’t appreciate my reflection anymore
Each line, pore and discoloration leaves me feeling old and wanting more
Yet, this is what it means to age
This is why I never stay feeling or thinking the same way inside my cage
Today was neither good, positive, negative nor bad
Still, there’s barely enough days for me to say I’m not sad or glad
Maybe it was indeed a very a good day.
Maybe it’s because I was productive, ate well and didn’t let lack of sleep sway my ways
Or heaven forgive get in my way
Each line I sketch is just waiting breathlessly to be textured and filled
Still I paint with words not colors no matter what grows on these window sills
I’m emotional yet I hide it well behind pleasantries, civility, and smiles
I hide the dark, sad, bad or uncomfortable because it’s been a long, long, while
This is the time for patience as we’ve all been flipped on our heads
Instead of company on the weekends we stay alone with our quarantribe instead
We’re always in our domicile and forget what day of the week it is
Still, we’re supposedly comfortable as long as we’re safe from the viruses
Today was neutral it wasn’t good, great, sad, or bad
There was enough smiles to counter the sadness and for this I’m eternally glad
I walked a fine line and it led me and my shadow to the middle of left and right
I could of gone this or that way but I chose to stay in the middle tonight
When we find ourselves between thoughts there’s a spaciousness we should observe
A stillness of calm and something we all sacredly do just deserve
Where feelings are not so up, down, black or white
Where things fill us with laughter instead of impending or overwhelming fright
I’ll take my neutral days in every way they come around and about
For if they’re neither bad or good then there’s nothing to be scared about
I do loathe fear, blame and the Russian roulette of my worry filled mind
Still, this day was in the middle and with confidence I can say it was worth my time

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