It’s been months now without mood stabilizers. It been pretty rough in the beginning. Lost a few friends, made some new ones, got closer to older ones and my family. At first sleep was nearly impossible. Now I am getting sleep albeit later than usual. It’s mainly because despite it all I’m introverted and have a limited amount of energy to spend. One thing that has been great is my husband I are working hard to create a beautiful garden and nursery. It’s winter and we’re literally full of wonderful tropical plants that we propagate, plant, keep warm, provide artificial sunlight, and humidity to and now we have a section of our home that feels like a lush window into a tropical retreat. It’s nice. I think everything is getting better. I still suffer but I don’t want the suffering to be muted by medications. To live is to suffer and though I’m very sensitive to things now I’m also with a sharper mind. So is it worth it? Going off the mood stabilizers? For me yes. Mainly because I did it with support of my doctor and husband. I’m keeping this short as it’s 3:30am and I’m going to meditate before sleep. Still, I’d like to say I’m so honored, humbled and happy that I took this huge step. I’m optimistic about our new year. It’s going to be wonderful because we’ve learned so much about ourselves through this journey. May all beings benefit.

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